Let’s Start at the Very Beginning (Part II)….

If you haven’t read Part I yet, I strongly encourage you to read that first in order to get the full perspective.

So my wife and I were high school sweethearts, while we were dating, I made what I can look back on now as my first attempt to explore my feminine identity with her.  For Halloween one year we were going trick-or-treating with some friends and I decided I wanted to go as a cheerleader.  Well of course she had uniforms so she gave me one that I could use as a costume.  However, when we got to her friends house and I changed into skirt and sweater, upon seeing me she freaked and insisted I take it off and go as something else. As I look back on it now, I realize that I felt safe enough with her to try exploring my feelings of gender.  However, her extremely negative reaction simply reinforced all the shame I had internalized throughout my childhood.  So I continued to deny what I was feeling and tucked it neatly back in that little box. Continue reading “Let’s Start at the Very Beginning (Part II)….”