Let’s Start at the Very Beginning (Part II)….

If you haven’t read Part I yet, I strongly encourage you to read that first in order to get the full perspective.

So my wife and I were high school sweethearts, while we were dating, I made what I can look back on now as my first attempt to explore my feminine identity with her.  For Halloween one year we were going trick-or-treating with some friends and I decided I wanted to go as a cheerleader.  Well of course she had uniforms so she gave me one that I could use as a costume.  However, when we got to her friends house and I changed into skirt and sweater, upon seeing me she freaked and insisted I take it off and go as something else. As I look back on it now, I realize that I felt safe enough with her to try exploring my feelings of gender.  However, her extremely negative reaction simply reinforced all the shame I had internalized throughout my childhood.  So I continued to deny what I was feeling and tucked it neatly back in that little box. Continue reading “Let’s Start at the Very Beginning (Part II)….”


So bear with me as I’m just getting started.  For now, please check out the About Me page to learn more about who Alyssa is and why I’m writing this blog.  In the future I hope to share all aspects of my transition with the goal that other middle-aged trans women getting started on their journey may finally have a resource they can identify with more easily.  There are so many 20-somethings and 50+ trans women on the web sharing their experience but that middle group seems to be under-represented.

I’m not a professional or trained blogger. I only plan to share my story in the best way I can. Bear with me as this is a project in its infancy, but I hope to build a lot of content rather quickly.  Eventually, when I’m fully out living full-time as Alyssa, I’ll have pictures that chronicle the early stages of my transition which I’ll share.  For now, I have to keep a lower profile until I’m ready for the world to know just who I am.  It’s a shame it has to be that way, but sadly it’s the world we live in.